Monday WTF Aural Sex: 2016-02-29 (38 Reasons To Stay The Fuck Away From Me Edition)

Ppphhh, haha!  Like you’re gonna fuckin’ listen.  You don’t fuckin’ listen!  It’s a fuckin’ conspiracy, I’m tellin’ ya.  The universe whispers in your fuckin’ ear, and you have a jolly good laugh, don’t ya?  Don’t ya, fuckin’ govna?!  Any-fucking-way, here are 38 reasons to stay the fuck away from me, as if you needed me to provide any when it should be rather fuckin’ obvious.  I listen to weird music!  I play lots of video games!  Other negative things!  *sniffle, sniffle*  I’m not all bad, though.  At least I’m insane.  My insanity keeps me warm at night.  I laugh at you almost every day (when I can manage to tolerate being awake during the day).  HOLY FUCK!  Have any of you perverts been… OUTSIDE DURING THE DAY?!  IT’S FUCKING AWFUL!  FUCKING HUMANS EVERYWHERE!  FUCKING BREATHING LITTLE PILES OF HUMANITY CLOGGING THE STREETS WITH THEIR DEATH MACHINES AND VARIOUS AGENDAS!  *sigh* My hate fills me with warm, fuzzy creatures that tickle my innards and make me speak Swedish.  I love it so.  OK, so I know I’ve played this first track a bunch on this podcast, but holy leaping Pope poop on a rope, I need to hear this one at the top of this podcast.  I need to hear it loud.  Why?  BECAUSE IF IT’S NOT PLAYED AT BRAIN-VAPORIZING VOLUMES, HOW THE BLOODY PERIOD FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO APPROPRIATELY EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION FOR THE MAGNIFICENT MUSICIANSHIP AND LYRICAL STYLINGS?!  I can’t.  I just can’t.  Fuck you if you don’t get it.  You’ve obviously had a fucking pristine existence shot up your shit chute with a golden enema bulb.  Anyway, since I’ll most likely be the only one listening to this in the near or distant future, I’d like to address future me and say, “You fucktacular motherfucker.  I know you remember why you put these songs together.  You’re worlds away from all this pissy batshit nonsense now, so laugh heartily, you jolly motherfucker.  Laugh, because some-fucking-how, you’re still alive.  Laugh, because your past is punctuated by a fucking epic, hilarious stream of various tragedies, and you lived through it all.  You’re fucking awesome, so yojne your damn dick off.  I love you, future me.”

01 Lamb of God - Laid to Rest (from Ashes of the Wake) [00:01:45]

02 Mike Patton - Hurry Up and Kill Me… I’m Cold (from Adult Themes for Voice) [00:05:33]

03 Ladyscraper - 2inthepink1inthestink (from The Death of Mary Poppins) [00:05:37]

04 The Doors - You’re All A Bunch Of Fucking Idiots (from… some random bootleg from Miami or something that I found in my collection.  If you actually give a shit, ask me about it, and I’ll track it down.) [00:08:54]

05 Venetian Snares - I’m A Fucking Idiot (from Untitled) [00:10:31]

06 NOFX - Idiots Are Taking Over (from Regaining Unconsciousness EP) [00:13:30]

07 Twiztid - Toxic Terror (from Toxic Terror) [00:16:51]

08 Twiztid - The Sickness (feat. Blaze Ya Dead Homie) (from Toxic Terror) [00:18:36]

09 Goreshit - Retard Fish Frog (The Great Speedcore Trendkill) (from Ministry Of Shit) [00:23:01]

10 Anal Cunt - I Snuck A Retard Into A Sperm Bank (from It Just Gets Worse) [00:24:29]

11 Die Antwoord - Fok Julie Naaiers (from Ten$ion) [00:24:54]

12 Mike Patton & Melt-Banana - Area 877 (Phoenix Mix) (from Charlie EP) [00:28:49]

13 Slipknot - Only One (from Slipknot) [00:30:25]

14 Aphex Twin - Girl/Boy as Performed by Selkirk Retard Orchestra for the Daughters of Asexual Lithium Addicts (Venetian Snares Remix) (from Venetian Snares misc.) [00:32:44]

15 Bring Me The Horizon - Death Breath (Toxic Avenger remix) (from Suicide Season: Cut Up!) [00:36:49]

16 Slipknot - The Heretic Anthem (from Iowa) [00:41:15]

17 i broke my robot - the afternoon we tried suicide (from tomorrow does not exist) [00:45:20]

18 Aphex Twin - 4 (from Richard D. James Album) [00:48:57]

19 Nine Inch Nails - Somewhat Damaged (from The Fragile (Left)) [00:52:20]

20 Insane Clown Posse - Hate Her To Death (from The Mighty Death Pop!) [00:56:52]

21 Slipknot - Custer (from .5: The Gray Chapter) [01:01:43]

22 System F - Cry (Re-Con Remix) (from BABY048) [01:05:54]

23 Mike Patton - The Man in the Lower Left Hand Corner of the Photograph (from Adult Themes for Voice) [01:12:19]

24 Slipknot - Gematria (The Killing Name) (from All Hope Is Gone) [01:14:07]

25 Lo Key - Pump Pump [Toxic Remix] (feat. Candi Creep) (from Jack Yo Beatz EP) [01:20:06]

26 Amaze - Tripping Contact “060329 Artcore Remix” (from Genesis Express -Tribute for kors k-) [01:23:23]

27 Berry Weight - Walking By Your Side (from Music For Imaginary Movies) [01:29:11]

28 As I Lay Dying - Comfort Betrays (from An Ocean Between Us) [01:33:49]

29 Insane Clown Posse - Toxic Love (from 20th Anniversary Hallowicked Compilation) [01:36:33]

30 Garfunkel & Oates - The Ex-Boyfriend Song (from Slippery When Moist) [01:40:51]

31 Walls of Jericho - Another Day, Another Idiot (from With Devils Amongst Us All) [01:40:56]

32 Apollo 440 - Love Is Evil (from The Future’s What It Used To Be) [01:42:51]

33 All That Remains - A Song for the Hopeless (from Overcome) [01:47:58]

34 Bim - Stop You (from Two) [01:52:12]

35 ska - Giygas Strikes Back (from Saturn Go Home) [01:55:21]

36 Nine Inch Nails - 34 Ghosts IV (from Ghosts I-IV) [02:02:28]

37 Aphex Twin - Hy A Scullyas Lyf A Dhagrow (from Drukqs (Disc 1)) [02:08:18]

38 Slipknot - Danger - Keep Away (from Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses) [02:10:27]