Monday Morning Aural Sex: 2019-08-26 (Osmium-X (What the Fuck Have You Been Eating?!) Edition)

“As Double-O wandered across the barren wasteland, he recalled how humanity had ended. So foolish were they all to underestimate the osmium… Perhaps this is what we deserved all along. We were merely an experiment gone awry, and now, it was time for the Earth to be cleansed of our presence by the sheer, godly terror of Osmium-X. No human being could ever have contained its power. Those who tried were utter imbeciles, and they didn’t even have a chance to regret their greed as their atoms were instantly spaghettified. Now, without any resources left on the planet, Double-O himself has arrived at the Osmium-X pyramid to resign to its will on behalf of humanity, once and for all…”

 

 

Welcome, perverts new, old, ancient, prehistoric, futuristic and those of you of the female persuasion who may be any and/or all of those, to the Osmium-X (What the Fuck Have You Been Eating?!) Edition! It’s been too goddamn long since I’ve made one of these motherfuckers, lemme tell ya! I figured this week was as good an occasion as any fucking other to bring it back, because Slipknot just released an epic album called We Are Not Your Kind, and this edition will certainly be hyping me the fuck up for the upcoming show on Friday! Also, Tool is FINALLY releasing their follow-up to 10,000 Days on that same goddamn day! Even further, I just discovered that former Kittie vocalist, Morgan Lander, is joining up with a group called Karkaos. They’re fuckin’ phenomenal, and you’ll be hearing a few of their tracks a little later on, so keep your fuckin’ ears peeled for those. How metal is that shit, hmm? Peeled ears?! I think so, but as usual, for the first time, perhaps for the last, I’m fuckin’ insane. So there’s that.

 

ANNNNYWAY…

 

This edition is made up of a number of new discoveries, along with some tracks from previous editions, and there’s one track in particular you should keep your nose open for: a track by a group called Sonseed. That is the most osmiumic of all the osmium, and you’ll fuckin’ love it if you still have a face after your face gets melted off into face soup, and you eat it because you love face soup, so your stomach’s like, “whoa, we need that, actually,” so it reassembles your face and uses it to decorate itself, and now your face is stuck in your stomach, and you can’t get it out because your arm isn’t long enough to reach all the way down to your stomach, and your stomach would stab you with raccoon-flavored forks if you even managed to reach all the way down there without dying, and choking from dying, and dying from drowning in the puddle of your own face when your arm… you get my drift, and all because you heard this one random track on a random fuckhead’s podcast.

 

I ought to mention that I did invite some osmiumic dubstep tracks to our party of heaviness and Satan and metaaaaal, so anyone whose frilly little panties get twisted up over womps, wobbles and (%@!$#%^&) is just gonna have to fuckin’ deal with it. Mmkay?! Either that, or just hit the fucking stop button. You’re free to be a close-minded sack of shit if you wanna be. Don’t worry, I’m not judging you, even though you totally are and I totally am, but not, but am, but not… but am.  Teehee, motherfucker! Tee-fuckin’-hee! Anyway, amusingly enough, I thought I was reining myself in for this one, and I’d only be including my usual 3 hours or so of music. Fucking nope! This one is just a mouse’s cunt hair over 5 hours long, so strap in, strap on a strap-on, strap upside-down and back-sideways-wards, and prepare to have your fuckin’ craniums crushed by the almighty osmium!

 

Translation: yojne.

 

 

01 Charlie Day - Rock, Flag and Eagle (from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia S2E09) [00:03:07]

 

02 Ministry - Roadhouse Blues (The Doors cover) (from The Last Sucker) [00:03:26]

 

03 Slipknot - Unsainted (from We Are Not Your Kind) [00:07:51]

 

04 Poppy - Scary Mask (feat. FEVER 333) (from Scary Mask) [00:12:10]

 

05 Clown Core - Toilet (from Toilet) [00:15:08]

 

06 Excision - Headbanga (from X-Rated) [00:16:24]

 

07 Twin Moons - Bang Ya Head (from Rising) [00:20:19]

 

08 KMFDM - A Drug Against War (Re-Recorded) (from Rocks - Milestones Reloaded) [00:22:59]

 

09 Slipknot - Birth Of The Cruel (from We Are Not Your Kind) [00:27:11]

 

10 The Prodigy - The Day Is My Enemy (Caspa Remix) (from The Day Is My Enemy (Deluxe Edition)) [00:31:45]

 

11 Carnifex - No Light Shall Save Us (feat. Alissa White-Gluz) (from World War X) [00:34:59]

 

12 We Butter The Bread With Butter - Klicks. Likes. Fame. Geil! (from Klicks. Likes. Fame. Geil!) [00:39:45]

 

13 Behemoth - Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel (from The Satanist) [00:43:21]

 

14 Genetix, Sadhu - Tear Shit Up (from Tear Shit Up) [00:47:43]

 

15 Slipknot - All Out Life (from All Out Life) [00:51:50]

 

16 Karkaos - Ode to La Resistance (from Empire) [00:57:27]

 

17 Karkaos - Leap of Faith (from Empire) [00:58:53]

 

18 Kittie - I’ve Failed You (from I’ve Failed You) [01:03:08]

 

19 Otep - Molotov (from Molotov) [01:05:18]

 

20 Sadhu - Loud Noises VIP (from Adventure Grime) [01:08:20]

 

21 Anaal Nathrakh - Forward! (from Forward!) [01:11:59]

 

22 3TEETH - Lights Out (feat. Ho99o9) (from Lights Out) [01:15:21]

 

23 Slipknot - Nero Forte (from We Are Not Your Kind) [01:19:31]

 

24 Trivecta - Axis (from Axis) [01:24:43]

 

25 (hed)p.e. - Wake Up (from Only In Amerika) [01:29:30]

 

26 Amon Amarth - Twilight Of The Thunder God (from Twilight Of The Thunder God) [01:33:54]

 

27 Once Human - You Cunt (from The Life I Remember) [01:37:57]

 

28 KMFDM - WWIII (from WWIII) [01:41:00]

 

29 Arch Enemy - War Eternal (from War Eternal) [01:45:53]

 

30 Slipknot - Critical Darling (from We Are Not Your Kind) [01:50:03]

 

31 Behemoth - Bartzabel (from I Loved You at Your Darkest) [01:56:23]

 

32 Habstrakt, Megalodon - Revenge (from The Storm EP) [02:01:22]

 

33 Otep - Generation Doom (from Generation Doom) [02:05:27]

 

34 Igorrr - Viande (from Savage Sinusoid) [02:09:48]

 

35 Ministry - Supermanic Soul (from Dark Side Of The Spoon) [02:11:37]

 

36 Snails - Crank Bass (feat. Liam Cormier) (from SLIMEAGEDDON) [02:14:49]

 

37 TOOL - Fear Inoculum (from Fear Inoculum) [02:19:13]

 

38 Slipknot - A Liar’s Funeral (from We Are Not Your Kind) [02:29:29]

 

39 In Flames - Dead End (from Come Clarity) [02:34:43]

 

40 Allegaeon - The Renewal (from Fragments of Form and Function) [02:38:00]

 

41 Killswitch Engage - The Signal Fire (feat. Howard Jones) (from Atonement) [02:42:11]

 

42 Of Mice & Men - Earth & Sky (from Earth & Sky) [02:45:15]

 

43 Bear Grillz - Rage (feat. Sullivan King) (from This Is Your Brain On Dubstep) [02:49:17]

 

44 Karkaos - Echoes of Perpetuity (from Empire) [02:53:09]

 

45 Slipknot - Red Flag (from We Are Not Your Kind) [02:57:02]

 

46 Kittie - Oracle (from Oracle) [03:01:09]

 

47 Angel Vivaldi - . _ _ _ _ (from Away With Words, Part 1) [03:03:10]

 

48 Revolting Cocks - Devil Cock (from Cocked and Loaded) [03:08:19]

 

49 Behemoth - Lucifer (from Evangelion) [03:12:14]

 

50 Sonseed - Jesus Is My Friend (from https://youtu.be/7-NOZU2iPA8) [03:20:18]

 

51 Sullivan King - Show Stopper (from The Demented) [03:23:04]

 

52 Otep - In Cold Blood (from Generation Doom) [03:27:07]

 

53 Slipknot - Spiders (from We Are Not Your Kind) [03:31:00]

 

54 Kataklysm - It Turns To Rust (feat. Morgan Lander) (from In the Arms of Devastation) [03:34:59]

 

55 Turmion Kätilöt - Pyhä Maa (from Technodiktator) [03:38:51]

 

56 King of Asgard - Nordvegr (from …to North) [03:42:10]

 

57 Korpiklaani - Ievan Polkka (from Manala) [03:47:52]

 

58 Månegarm - Mother Earth Father Thunder (from Månegarm) [03:50:51]

 

59 Kittie - Space Oddity (David Bowie cover) (from A Salute to the Thin White Duke - The Songs of David Bowie) [03:56:56]

 

60 Once Human - Pick Your Poison (from The Life I Remember) [04:02:25]

 

61 Slipknot - Orphan (from We Are Not Your Kind) [04:06:08]

 

62 SLANDER, Crankdat - Kneel Before Me (feat. Asking Alexandria) (from Kneel Before Me) [04:12:06]

 

63 Ministry - TV II (from Psalm 69) [04:15:15]

 

64 Thrown Into Exile - Declination (from Safe Inside) [04:18:18]

 

65 Silverchair & Vitro - Spawn (from Spawn OST) [04:22:27]

 

66 PhaseOne, Crystal Lake - Dreamscape (from Dreamscape) [04:26:50]

 

67 Slipknot - Not Long For This World (from We Are Not Your Kind) [04:31:22]

 

68 Sullivan King - Dropkick (TYNAN Remix) (from Come One, Come All Remixes) [04:37:45]

 

69 MDFMK - Witch Hunt (from MDFMK) [04:41:28]

 

70 Excision - Fight Through The Pain (feat. Sullivan King) (from Apex) [04:46:40]

 

71 Team Cybergeist - The End Of All We Know (feat. Morgan Lander) (from How to Destroy Something Beautiful) [04:50:50]

 

72 Slipknot - Solway Firth (from We Are Not Your Kind) [04:54:31]

 

73 Charlie Day - Dayman (from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia S4E13) [05:00:24]