Monday Morning Aural Sex: 2019-07-15 (Laughter Is An Instant Vacation Edition Vol. 3)

Ha, a-ha, and a ha-ha-muthafuckin’ ha, muthafuckas! Clemeow (which is an anagram for “welcome,” for those paying some sort of attention) to the third installment of the Laughter is an Instant Vacation Edition of Monday Morning goddamn muthafuckin’ Aural Sex! Can you goddamn believe it’s been over 5 years since I made an all-comedy podcast? Funny, maybe I didn’t feel like laughing all that much ‘cause I was mired in crippling depression stemming from a laundry list of failures that made even entertaining the notion of a brighter future than death fucking laughable! HAHAHAHA! See what I did there? I made a shit-sandwich of a sentence between the words, “funny,” and, “laughable,” because this is a comedy edition!

 

For real though, I think we need to be checking up on stand-up comics more regularly. I know from experience how people sometimes use humor to mask some deep, deep darkness, and we all don’t need to look much farther than Richard Jeni and Robin Williams to see how comedians can excel at that particular coping mechanism. I know a lot fewer of you have any idea who Richard Jeni is, but he was one of my parents’ and my favorite comedians for many years. Any-fuckin’-way, let’s get to the fuckin’ comedy already, shall we?

 

But first, before we yojne, make sure to catch this news story later, especially considering it’s summertime. It might just save your life.

 

 

01 Berkeley Systems - News Teaser #1 (from You Don’t Hear Jack!) [00:00:59]

 

02 Robin Williams - Hot Enough For You? (from Live 2002) [00:01:03]

 

03 Robin Williams - Drugs To Make You Feel Better (from Live 2002) [00:04:16]

 

04 Robin Williams - Religion and Marriage (from Weapons Of Self Destruction) [00:05:53]

 

05 Bill Burr - Becoming That Guy (from Let It Go) [00:12:39]

 

06 Bill Burr - Little Things (from Let It Go) [00:16:46]

 

07 Bill Burr - What Are You A Fag? (from Let It Go) [00:20:29]

 

08 Bill Burr - Can’t Hit ‘Em (from Why Do I Do This?) [00:27:15]

 

09 Donald Glover - AIDS vs. Babies (from Weirdo) [00:31:20]

 

10 Katt Williams - Weed Places (from Priceless) [00:36:59]

 

11 David Cross - Truth = Cynicism (from Oh, Come On) [00:39:38]

 

12 David Cross - And Speaking of Taking a Rape Shower… (from Oh, Come On) [00:43:42]

 

13 Roy Zimmerman - To Be A Liberal (from Thanks For The Support) [00:50:47]

 

14 Patton Oswalt - Adorable Racism (from Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time) [00:55:15]

 

15 Patton Oswalt - Creative Depression (from Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time) [01:00:29]

 

16 Patton Oswalt - New Clothes (from Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time) [01:07:06]

 

17 Jim Jeffries - April 18th (from Bare) [01:12:47]

 

18 Jim Jeffries - Gun Control (from Bare) [01:18:34]

 

19 Jim Jeffries - Straight Talker (from Freedumb) [01:34:33]

 

20 Jim Jeffries - You’re Slowing Us Down (from Freedumb) [01:40:44]

 

21 Jim Jeffries - Freedumb (from Freedumb) [01:44:24]

 

22 Greg Proops - Orange 45 (from The Resistance) [01:52:08]

 

23 King Missile - The President (from The Psychopathology of Everyday Life) [01:55:29]

 

24 John Mulaney - The Salt and Pepper Diner (from The Top Part) [01:58:22]

 

25 Sarah Silverman - Killing Jesus (from We Are Miracles) [02:04:20]

 

26 Sarah Silverman - Looking Inward (from We Are Miracles) [02:08:08]

 

27 Sarah Silverman - Senator Obama (from We Are Miracles) [02:14:46]

 

28 Sarah Silverman - You’re Gonna Die Soon (from Jesus Is Magic) [02:18:49]

 

29 Berkeley Systems - P.S.A. #1 (from You Don’t Hear Jack!) [02:20:18]

 

30 Tom Green - Married People on Facebook and Video Phones (from Tom Green: Live) [02:20:25]

 

31 Tom Green - The Evolution of Text Messaging (from Tom Green: Live) [02:25:23]

 

32 Tom Green - Technology and Naked Pictures (from Tom Green: Live) [02:29:33]

 

33 Roy Zimmerman - Dear Number 1036924053887 (from Thanks For The Support) [02:32:58]

 

34 Adam Sandler - Toll Booth Willie (from They’re All Gonna Laugh At You) [02:35:35]

 

35 Adam Sandler - The Hypnotist (from What The Hell Happened To Me?) [02:39:19]

 

36 Iliza Shlesinger - Girl’s Night (from War Paint) [02:47:18]

 

37 Iliza Shlesinger - Witching Hour of Drinking (from War Paint) [02:52:44]

 

38 Rachel Feinstein - A Lap Dance, Finally (from Only Whores Wear Purple) [02:57:25]

 

39 Rachel Feinstein - Alabama / Guns / First Jewish (from Only Whores Wear Purple) [02:58:36]

 

40 Rachel Feinstein - Me and Jenna Jameson (from Only Whores Wear Purple) [03:03:04]

 

41 Berkeley Systems - Phone Message (from You Don’t Hear Jack!) [03:13:12]

 

42 Chris Rock - Drugs, Donuts, Wealth (from Never Scared) [03:13:35]

 

43 Chris Rock - Tip Your Hat To Whitey (Jamaica) (from Never Scared) [03:23:17]

 

44 Chris Rock - Crackers (from Never Scared) [03:24:50]

 

45 Bill Hicks - The Elite (from Philosophy: The Best of Bill Hicks) [03:32:38]

 

46 Bill Hicks - Rush Limbaugh (from Rant In E Minor) [03:33:41]

 

47 Bill Hicks - Humans Are So Neat (from Revelations) [03:35:59]

 

48 Bill Hicks - You Suck (from I’m Sorry Folks) [03:42:08]

 

49 Berkeley Systems - News Teaser #2 (from You Don’t Hear Jack!) [03:44:18]

 

50 Doug Stanhope - Ugly Woman Who Could Sing (from Oslo: Burning The Bridge To Nowhere) [03:44:25]

 

51 Doug Stanhope - Suicidal Species (from From Across the Street) [03:49:59]

 

52 Doug Stanhope - I Can Do Nothing Better Than You (from Beer Hall Putsch) [03:52:24]

 

53 Doug Stanhope - 60 Inches of AIDS on Any Given Sunday (from Beer Hall Putsch) [03:56:54]

 

54 Doug Stanhope - Faggot (from Deadbeat Hero) [04:07:22]

 

55 Doug Stanhope - Liberty And Justice For Who? (from Deadbeat Hero) [04:08:21]

 

56 Doug Stanhope - Free Country? (from Deadbeat Hero) [04:11:04]

 

57 George Carlin - They’re Only Words (from Parental Advisory) [04:14:51]

 

58 George Carlin - You’re Lost (from Playin’ With Your Head) [04:19:25]

 

59 George Carlin - Man Stuff (from You Are All Diseased) [04:19:25]

 

60 George Carlin - Names (from You Are All Diseased) [04:24:48]

 

61 George Carlin - How To Handle A Heckler (from George Carlin misc.) [04:29:11]

 

62 George Carlin - Guys Named Todd (from Complaints and Grievances) [04:30:13]

 

63 George Carlin - Answering Machines (from Complaints and Grievances) [04:31:43]

 

64 George Carlin - Coast-To-Coast Emergency (from Life Is Worth Losing) [04:32:35]