Monday Morning Aural Sex: 2014-02-10 (Flashback Edition: 2013-04-29 (No One Can Destroy The Metal Edition))

Why a Flashback Edition?  Well, due to Podbean switching to a monthly usage data plan from a total usage data plan, I can re-upload some old podcasts and actually keep them uploaded.  That, and due to a series of unfortunate circumstances last night, I didn't have the time I thought I would to make a new edition.  Don't worry, perverts, I'll try to make a new one tonight.  For now, I hope you yojne the fuck outta this one.

Hhhhhhow's it goin', perverts?! Welcome to the No One Can Destroy The Metal Edition of pretty much the only fuckin' podcast worth listening to, Monday Morning Aural Fuckin' Sex! This one's the third all metal edition that I've done, and for this one, the volume knob grew a 12 in the utterly ecstatic anticipation. Speaking of which, for those of you who haven't seen the movie Spinal Tap, you really must run, do not walk, to see that one. I'd venture to guess that anyone listening to this particular edition has probably seen that shit already, but whatthefuckever. Oh, and I know a few of you out there might be looking at this track listing and saying something to the effect of, "Ehhh, that band's not metal! Mehhh, my metal's better! Your metal sucks! Your metal isn't even metal 'cause my metal's way more metaller! That, like, makes me a superior person to you, ehhhh!" To those of you who're saying shit like that, yes, you do seriously sound just as fucking imbecilic as I just sounded in that hypothetical imitation of you. Not like you'd ever actually say that shit to me or likely even hear this fuckin' podcast, but I know some of you out there are thinkin' it. But fuck, who am I to tell you what to think? You're gonna think whatever the fuck you want, so I'm basically ranting for no fuckin' reason right now.

Anyway, this one will be like the others in that I won't be speaking beyond this intro so as not to fuck up the deluge of pure fucking osmium we're about to experience. As per the suggestion of my dear friend and fellow pervert, Ashlei, I have, however, decided to include timestamps next to the tracks in the track listing for those of you perverts who don't have a solid 4 fucking hours to sit and listen to this shit. That's right, bitches. 4 fucking hours of epically osmiumic aural fuckin' sex. Incidentally, as far as I know, there's no adjective for osmium, so I just made one up like whut… Words are our bitches, and we can make 'em do whatever the fuck we want… BUT, we still should respect them to a degree or else we'll end up with a culture that's damn near devoid of intellectual stimulation or meaningful communication. Oh, wait… Anyway, fuck that soapbox, fuck you, fuck me, fuck us, fuck Tom, fuck Mary, fuck Gus, fuck this prolix fuckin' intro and just fuckin' yojne!

01 Tenacious D - The Metal (from The Pick Of Destiny) [00:02:24]

02 Pig Destroyer - Deflower (from 38 Counts Of Battery) [00:05:03]

03 Fear Factory - Slave Labor (from Archetype) [00:05:30]

04 Otep - Warhead (from House Of Secrets) [00:09:23]

05 Scars On Broadway - Stoner-Hate (from Scars On Broadway) [00:12:45]

06 Slayer - Dead Skin Mask (from Seasons In The Abyss) [00:14:44]

07 Metallica - Creeping Death (from Ride The Lightning) [00:19:39]

08 The Berzerker - Eye For An Eye (from Animosity) [00:26:11]

09 Ministry - TV II (from Psalm 69) [00:28:25]

10 Daughters - Fur Beach (from Canada Songs) [00:31:29]

11 Meshuggah - Future Breed Machine (Mayhem Version) (from The True Human Design) [00:32:05]

12 Deftones - My Own Summer (Shove It) (from Around The Fur) [00:40:12]

13 iwrestledabearonce - Alaskan Flounder Basket (from iwrestledabearonce EP) [00:43:47]

14 System Of A Down - Cigaro (from Mezmerize) [00:46:27] 

15 Strapping Young Lad - S.Y.L.R.M.H.A. (from City) [00:48:38]

16 Strapping Young Lad - Love? (from Alien) [00:48:40]

17 The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza - Yippie-Kay-Yay Mother Fucker (from Danza III: The Series Of Unfortunate Events) [00:53:34]

18 Mudvayne - Internal Primates Forever (from L.D. 50) [00:56:56]

19 Soulfly - Tribe (from Soulfly) [01:01:19]

20 GWAR - Jack The World (from This Toilet Earth) [01:07:15]

21 Pantera - Rise (from Vulgar Display Of Power) [01:09:37]

22 Slipknot - All Hope Is Gone (from All Hope Is Gone) [01:14:12]

23 Burzum - Dunkelheit (from Filosofem) [01:18:48]

24 Satanist - Autoerotic Crucifixation (from Sadomasochrist) [01:25:48]

25 Machinae Supremacy - I Turn To You (Melanie C. cover) (from Origin) [01:29:33]

26 The Locust - Priest With The Sexually Transmitted Diseases Get Out Of My Bed (from Plague Soundscapes) [01:34:47]

27 I Got Shot In The Face - You. Dead. (from How Am I Not Myself) [01:35:18]

28 Dog Fashion Disco - Leper Friend (from Anarchists Of Good Taste) [01:38:04]

29 Cycle Sluts From Hell - I Wish You Were A Beer (from Cycle Sluts From Hell) [01:42:30]

30 The Dillinger Escape Plan - The Mullet Burden (from Under The Running Board EP) [01:44:45]

31 All That Remains - Chiron (from Overcome) [01:46:35]

32 Converge - The Broken Vow (from Jane Doe) [01:50:58]

33 Dir en grey - Audience Killer Loop (from Vulgar) [01:53:10]

34 Abnormality - Question? (from 2007 Demo) [01:56:46]

35 Iron Maiden - Moonchild (from Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son) [02:00:43]

36 Marilyn Manson - The Reflecting God (from Antichrist Superstar) [02:06:19]

37 Sawtooth Grin - A 2 Minute Lecture On The Finer Points Of Instability (from Cuddlemonster) [02:11:53]

38 Sevendust - Bitch (from Sevendust) [02:13:55]

39 Cradle Of Filth - Gilded Cunt (from Nymphetamine) [02:17:35]

40 Rollins Band - Volume 4 (from Weight) [02:21:43]

41 Machine Head - Aesthetics Of Hate (from The Blackening) [02:26:17]

42 Fantômas - Book 1: Page 3 (from Fantômas) [02:32:43]

43 All Shall Perish - Never…Again (from Awaken The Dreamers) [02:33:49]

44 Lamb Of God - Now You've Got Something To Die For (from Ashes Of The Wake) [02:37:00]

45 In Flames - Sleepless Again (from A Sense Of Purpose) [02:40:37]

46 Shadows Fall - Failure Of The Devout (from Threads Of Life) [02:44:42]

47 Opeth - Dirge For November (from Blackwater Park) [02:50:05]

48 Soilwork - Grand Failure Anthem (from A Predator's Portrait) [02:57:50]

49 Spineshank - Play God (from The Height Of Callousness) [03:03:08]

50 Killswitch Engage - Reject Yourself (from As Daylight Dies) [03:07:04]

51 Megadeth - Sweating Bullets (from Countdown To Extinction (Remastered)) [03:11:41]

52 The Fall Of Troy - We Better Learn To Hotwire A Uterus (from Doppelgänger) [03:17:04]

53 Dimmu Borgir - The Invaluable Darkness (from In Sorte Diaboli) [03:19:13]

54 Iced Earth - Dracula (from Horror Show) [03:23:55]

55 DevilDriver - Damning The Heavens (from Pray For Villains (Special Edition)) [03:29:44]

56 Agalloch - A Celebration For The Death Of Man… (from The Mantle) [03:31:59]

57 Agalloch - …And The Great Cold Death Of The Earth (from The Mantle) [03:34:23]

58 Lard - I Am Your Clock (from The Last Temptation Of Reid) [03:41:29]