Monday Morning Aural Sex: 2014-01-07 (Paul Q. Sivertsen Jr. Memorial Edition)

Perverts… As most of you know now from my previous post, my father is gone. He truly was my best friend. I always hugged him in the mornings, whenever we parted company during the day and before we went to sleep. I was never ashamed to hug my parents around my peers as some kids are at certain ages. He helped me every step of the way getting into college, including helping move all my shit into a truck, driving the truck down to Florida, and even helping me buy me a new car which I still drive to this day.

When I graduated in 2010 and made a choice to try living in California, as much as it must’ve killed him, he helped me move all my shit into yet another truck and he had tears in his eyes as I was about to leave. That’s the second time I’d ever seen him cry in my life. The first was when my grandpa on my mom’s side died a few years back from that.

I know his memory will live on in my heart (and the hearts of all those who loved him, too) forever, but there were still so many things I wanted to share with him. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Those people at the hospital were supposed to have this under control. This wasn’t supposed to happen now, so soon… but this is the reality in which we all live now, so we have to adjust somehow. To be honest, I’m absolutely terrified. My dad always took care of everything, and now my mom and I need to figure that everything out. I’m terrified we’re going to mess up somehow and end up with some bloodless financial institution breathing down our necks.

I’m not even sure we’ll be able to keep our house. I’m not too sure of anything right now except the cold, hard truth that keeps ringing in my head. The only relief I can find right now is in a desperate tug of war between sleep and waking where I keep trying to find the door to a different plane of existence; a parallel universe where I can get up, go downstairs and give my dad a hug as he says, “Hey, Beavis…” I’m trying really hard not to panic in the midst of such tremendous grief.

And yes, it is astoundingly tremendous. The likes of which I’ve never, ever experienced. The feeling of profound, crushing horror that gripped my heart like a bear trap when I walked into that hospital room only a few minutes after he left us all… I lost it. I started sobbing and wailing and cursing, swearing that this wasn’t true, that this wasn’t my life, that I didn’t want this… I had even just bought him one of those “Father’s Legacy” books for Xmas. One of those books where they’re asked a bunch of questions about their life and they fill it out for future generations. I’d bought him one years ago, but he never finished it, nay barely started it. My mom told me she gave it to him though, and he said he’d do it… Yet another heartbreaking example of how you should never put off important things in your life. I think he thought I wouldn’t care about the stories of his life, but he was so wrong.

Anyway, I could go on and on and on, but there’s still hours of music to listen to, and my mom is here to help me introduce it. Before I turn over the mic, let me just say that there are a number of comedic tracks in this edition because of my dad’s wonderful sense of humor. I’ve included the entirety of my parents’ album called “Could It Be,” that they recorded as The First Few, and I also included the entirety of a compilation CD that my dad made me in 2012 called Let My Love Open The Door (named after the Pete Townshend song that kicks it off). Anyway, Mom, what would you like to say before we start the music?

We celebrated Paul’s dad’s birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, and New Years Day in the hospital this year. On Christmas he spent a bit of time playing some of the songs he and I had arranged and recorded in our living room in Michigan, As I look back at those times, I realize how precious they were, and how incredibly talented and wonderful my life with my husband has been. The songs are his legacy. We have to make them available to more people, so they can have their ownership of what they say—-so we can gift the music to many others. I truly hope that something touches you in this music, something speaks to your life experience and encourages or helps you in some way. It’s what music is about for me, and I know it’s what it was to Paul, my beloved husband. Paul, my son, is my treasure, and I know he carries many traits that his dad had. In some ways that is a legacy as well. Thanks for listening to this podcast. I’m sending you my best wishes for your appreciation of art and beauty all around, and for the life of my very best friend, my Paul.

01 Paul Solmente - Through Your Eyes (from Another Day) [00:05:18]

02 The First Few - Mary Sue (from Could It Be) [00:07:54]

03 The First Few - Slow Swayin’ (from Could It Be) [00:10:56]

04 The First Few - You Don’t Need It Now (from Could It Be) [00:14:52]

05 Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin’ (from The Times They Are A-Changin’) [00:19:56]

06 Monty Python - “A Witch?” (from The Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of Monty Python and the Holy Grail) [00:23:06]

07 Pete Townshend - Let My Love Open The Door (from Let My Love Open The Door) [00:25:51]

08 Pat Donohue - All My Life (from Let My Love Open The Door) [00:28:31]

09 Alison Krauss & Union Station - There is a Reason (Live) (from Let My Love Open The Door) [00:31:55]

10 Blue Man Group - Opening Mandelbrot (from Audio) [00:36:26]

11 The Who - The Seeker (from American Beauty OST) [00:39:36]

12 Spike Jones - I Went To Your Wedding (from Spike Jones’ Greatest Hits (1999)) [00:42:55]

13 Spike Jones - Ya Wanna Buy a Bunny? (from Spike Jones’ Greatest Hits (1999)) [00:46:20]

14 Amy Fradon & Leslie Ritter - River of Love (from Let My Love Open The Door) [00:49:36]

15 Jorma Kaukonen w/ Tom Hobson - Genesis (from Let My Love Open The Door) [00:53:26]

16 Leonard Cohen - Sisters of Mercy (from Let My Love Open The Door) [00:57:41]

17 PT Grimm - People Are Strange (from Entropy’s Sideshow v2) [01:01:11]

18 The Nightwatchman - The Road I Must Travel (from One Man Revolution) [01:03:22]

19 The First Few - Western PA (from Could It Be) [01:07:07]

20 The First Few - Two by Two (from Could It Be) [01:09:59]

21 The First Few - Traveling Shoes (from Could It Be) [01:13:31]

22 Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence (from The Essential Simon & Garfunkel) [01:16:36]

23 Pink Floyd - Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Parts I-V) (from Wish You Were Here) [01:19:25]

24 Marilyn Manson - Working Class Hero (John Lennon cover) (from Working Class Hero/Five to One Single) [01:33:02]

25 Marc Cohn - Walking In Memphis (from Let My Love Open The Door) [01:36:38]

26 Mr. Mister - Kyrie (from Let My Love Open The Door) [01:40:45]

27 Mustard’s Retreat - Watching The Pines (from Let My Love Open The Door) [01:45:07]

28 Metallica - Turn The Page (Bob Seger cover) (from Garage Inc. (Disc 1)) [01:48:31]

29 Elliott Smith - Because (Beatles cover) (from American Beauty OST) [01:54:34]

30 Serj Tankian - Saving Us (from Elect the Dead) [01:56:50]

31 The First Few - Time Enough For Love (from Could It Be) [02:01:29]

32 The First Few - Inner City Lovin’ (from Could It Be) [02:06:54]

33 The First Few - Villefranche ’69 (from Could It Be) [02:10:08]

34 The First Few - Those Were the Days (from Could It Be) [02:14:18]

35 Massive Attack - Protection (from Protection) [02:18:55]

36 The Nightwatchman - Alone Without You (from One Man Revolution & Sicko OST) [02:26:38]

37 Carol Woods & Timothy T. Mitchum - Let It Be (Long Version) (from Across The Universe OST) [02:29:40]

38 Mustard’s Retreat - Motherlode (from Let My Love Open The Door) [02:33:20]

39 Madonna - Live To Tell (from Let My Love Open The Door) [02:36:40]

40 The Magnetic Fields - The Book of Love (from Let My Love Open The Door) [02:42:23]

41 Yoav - Where Is My Mind? (feat. Emily Browning) (Pixies cover) (from Sucker Punch OST) [02:45:03]

42 Barenaked Ladies - Hidden Sun (Cut No Longer Available) (from Monitor This! - December 2000/January 2001) [02:51:10]

43 Slipknot - Circle (from Vol. 3: The Subliminal Verses) [02:55:21]

44 Metallica - Nothing Else Matters (from Black Album) [02:59:41]

45 Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes (from Let My Love Open The Door) [03:05:58]

46 Sophie B. Hawkins - As I Lay Me Down (from Let My Love Open The Door) [03:11:14]

47 The Lumineers - Ho Hey (from Let My Love Open The Door) [03:15:14]

48 The Nightwatchman - Lazarus On Down (feat. Serj Tankian) (from The Fabled City) [03:17:46]

49 System of a Down - Aerials (from Toxicity) [03:21:16]

50 U2 - Pride (In The Name Of Love) (from Let My Love Open The Door) [03:25:08]

51 Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time (from Let My Love Open The Door) [03:29:30]

52 Crosby & Nash - Carry Me (from Let My Love Open The Door) [03:33:26]

53 Insane Clown Posse - The Wraith (from The Wraith: Shangri-La) [03:36:56]

54 BT - See You On The Other Side (from This Binary Universe) [03:40:28]

55 Dinah Washington & Max Richter - This Bitter Earth - On The Nature of Daylight (from Shutter Island OST (Disc 2)) [03:54:45]

56 Bird York - In The Deep (from Crash OST) [04:00:55]

57 Twiztid - LDLHA-IBCSYWA (from Abominationz) [04:06:46]

58 Akira Yamaoka - Acceptance (feat. Mary Elizabeth McGlynn) (from Silent Hill: Shattered Memories OST) [04:11:23]

59 Massive Attack - Teardrop (Like an Onyx Star Edit) (original from Mezzanine) [04:15:19]

60 The First Few - You Forgot To Say Goodbye (from [04:22:40]

61 The First Few - Never A Day Goes By (from [04:27:05]

62 Darren Korb - Setting Sail, Coming Home (End Theme) (from Bastion OST) [04:30:51]

63 Monty Python - Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life (from Monty Python Sings) [04:33:44]

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