Perverrrrts… Ooo… Ooooo… Boo! Emo-fookin’-clew to the New Spoopity-Doopity-Doo µ(sic) to Screw Sue ’n’ Two Blue Statues To (on Halloween) in ’22 (Phew!) Edition of Monday Morning Aural muthafuckin’ Sex! Yes, that entire asininity is the actual title. What the fuck, it’s muthafuckin’ Halloween, and you got a problem with that? I didn’t fuckin’ think so. As any of you weirdo-ass fucks like me who’ve been following me and my nonsense bullshit horsehocky foofaraw for the past year will know, these absurdly-named editions are just collections of new jams that I found. This one’s super spiffily specialface though, ‘cause it’s muthafuckin’ Halloween! This is the very first of my Halloween editions published precisely on October 31st.
In 10 years (on and off), I never did that shit. I coulda done it in 2016, but I started that lil 3 year hiatus in the summer of that year. I was way, way too mired in my fuckin’ darkness to give a fuck about sharing any music, let alone putting in the work of assembling a podcast. So hey, at least I’m righting that wrong now. By the way, fuck all the people who made that darkness even more profoundly viscous and vast than it already was/is. I hope I live long enough to spit on your graves, but I have far more significant hopes than that. Even as generally hopeless as shit tends to feel in this hideous, late-stage capitalistic hellscape with the looming threat of climate change, I still have hope there’s something better beyond the mountain of shit through which most of us are crawling. Present perspective is nothing if not pathetically limited, and often exacerbated by horrid mutations and distortions from the past, making the future typically seem miserably bleak at best. Or maybe that’s just me because I’m a psycho stupidface doo-doo brain. Ah well.
Have I mentioned that it’s Halloween?! Yes, and we have nearly 5 fuckin’ hours of new fucktacularity ahead of us this week. How-fuckin’-ever, there is a mighty asterisk beside that word, “new…” Ya see, I was selecting tracks all the way up ’til around 5 AM because I decided to stretch the definition of new a little bit. No doubt you astoundingly observant perverts have already noticed that there are quite a number of older songs on this list. Surely to fuck those can’t be new to me, right? Righty-o indeed you are. Those older tracks are either new to my Halloween editions, or new to the podcast entirely, but NOT new to my earballs. My sincerest apologies to either of the 1 or 2 listeners who may now be feeling bitterly deceived, but these older jams were just too fucktacular to exclude.
I should also mention that there’s no fuckin’ way in fuckin’ hell that I could have possibly included everything I would have liked to for this most fucktacular of Halloween editions. Any potentially glaring exclusions were most likely left out only because of the late hour at which this is (as fucking always) being produced, and/or the fact that I saw I had nearly 5 hours and decided to cut myself off. Very fitting for Halloween, ya know? I’ll spare you all (and myself) the usual seemingly endless fuckin’ yammering about this, that and the other track because it’s fuckin’ Halloween, and all these tracks ought to speak plenty well for themselves given that theme.
I will say, however, that whoever cut the tracks for the Mr. Nightmare stories on Spotify did one of the most nauseatingly atrocious editing jobs I’ve ever had the misfortune of experiencing. I can’t even excuse it by imagining that whoever did it was inexperienced, because even people who are completely new to audio editing would never cut tracks in the middle of words. Absolutely preposterous, especially since all the other aspects of the stories are perfectly fine, even rather well done down to the soundscapes and stingers they use to enhance the stories. Ah fuckin’ well, I fixed it so y’all won’t even notice a thing.
Aside from that, if you actually have any questions about any of the tracks (you won’t), feel free to ask (but again, you won’t). If you encounter a track you don’t like, fuckin’ skip that shit. The only fuckin’ weirdo freak maniac who can actually hang with every single one of these tracks (as far as I know) is me, so skip away, ya silly-ass muthafuckas. Should go without saying, but the more tracks I’ve included by XYZ artist here, the more highly I recommend them to you for further listenage. That is, if you can extract your head from the thrumming soundtrack in your anus long enough to take a suggestion or 40 from yours truly. I know, I know, I’m too fuckin’ much.
Anyway, Happy muthafuckin’ Halloween, and onward to this most gloriously spooptastic yojne!
01 The Bouncing Souls - Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight? (from Violent World: A Tribute To The Misfits) [00:03:31]
02 Dead Kennedys - Halloween (from Plastic Surgery Disasters/In God We Trust, Inc.) [00:05:26]
03 Harley Poe - Ima Killer (from Satan, Sex and No Regrets) [00:09:00]
04 Shinra Knives - keep the fuck away from me (from you will never see heaven) [00:12:52]
05 Architects - be very afraid (from the classic symptoms of a broken spirit) [00:16:17]
06 Ghastly - This Song Scares People (from This Song Scares People) [00:20:31]
07 Metallica - Welcome Home (Sanitarium) (Remastered) (from Master Of Puppets (Remastered Deluxe Box Set)) [00:22:30]
08 SWARM - The Nothing (from The Nothing) [00:28:54]
09 Ov Sulfur - Stained In Rot (from Stained In Rot) [00:34:13]
10 BANKS - And I Drove You Crazy (from Goddess (Deluxe)) [00:38:25]
11 Psyclon Nine - Behind A Serrated Grin (from INRI) [00:42:52]
12 Sons of Perdition - The Summoning (from Heathen Hof) [00:47:38]
13 Terra Genesis - Cult of the Damned (from Cult of the Damned) [00:50:22]
14 Eartha Kitt - I Want to Be Evil (from That Bad Eartha) [00:55:11]
15 Iron Maiden - The Evil That Men Do (2015 Remaster) (from Seventh Son of a Seventh Son (2015 Remaster)) [00:58:39]
16 Metallica - Jump In The Fire (Remastered) (from Kill ‘Em All (Deluxe Remaster)) [01:03:11]
17 SWARM - Take Me to Hell (from Take Me to Hell) [01:07:48]