Fuck is up the what, fuckermothers?! Emo-muthafuckin’-clew to the Are You The New Blue Shih Tzu Who Threw The Gnu Bamboo Statue Through Taboo Shrew Kazoo Voodoo in '22? Edition of Monday Morning Aural fuckin’ Sex! What in the most holy of nipple-calcifying fuck is all that foofaraw about? Just new shit I found this week. If you trust my taste at all, you might find a jam or 10, or 20, or 50 that might tickle your meaty little fancy. So, last week I mentioned having some thoughts on Stranger Things season 4. First of all, I feel compelled to address the maddening fucking fact that Running Up That Hill has been on motherfucking loop in my goddamn head all week since I put it near the start of last week’s podcast. Fantastic song and everything, but Jesus, sometimes I like to think about other songs too. Ya know?
Anyway, yeah, it occurred to me after finishing season 4 that a lot of what’s happened throughout the show could be interpreted as representations of mental illnesses. Vecna reminded me heavily of the shadow of futility that I wrote about back in 2018; this burdensome feeling of futility that’s so prevalent sometimes, it feels like an actual presence weighing on all the best parts of you. In case you might be curious, here’s what I said:
I know that shadow well. It has stalked me through my imagination for most of my life. It's the sense of futility that stains every poem or song I ever wrote, every picture I ever took, and especially every time anyone was insane enough to try loving me. I have never even once felt like I deserved to be loved, but I accepted it as best I could whenever it stumbled into my life.
I tried hard every single day to ignore that shadow; to project some sort of confidence because I was always told how unattractive insecurity is. I tried to work towards some sort of future despite mostly just wanting to die. This shadow is the reason I stopped posting on social media, why I stopped doing my podcast, and why I have actively avoided any sort of romantic interaction with anyone for years now.
I see this shadow in people all around me. I see it telling others to kill themselves. I see it behind their smiles, like patient vultures waiting to feed. I've watched it perfectly wear the faces of friends and lovers, and brazenly lock my eyes to its own; to speak those things and more until my desperate heart fractures yet again, and my knees buckle to the dirt where it reminds me I belong.
And in the silence, I agree. I've occasionally heard voices around me telling me otherwise, but I can't tell the difference between the real people and the shadow anymore. It has fooled me so thoroughly so many times, and I can no longer trust my own judgment. I have no choice but to lock myself away in my nice, cold, dark room. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting... I would have ended this shit myself a long time ago, but I can't leave my mother with the burden of burying her only son. I also know that would only set the shadow free to feed on the souls of my friends and family. So, we will wait together right here in this room. Safe little prisoners, together forever.
Sounds a lot like Vecna to me. This monstrosity that never lets you forget all the times you fucked up, just waiting for its chance to cripple you and consume your soul. Incidentally, by soul, I just mean the essence of who you are as a person; essentially your consciousness, which to me is pretty much synonymous with soul. But yeah, not just haunting you with your mistakes, but with the passage of time as you keep waiting to heal. They say time heals all wounds, and yet so many wounds continue to hurt for years, even decades after they’re inflicted.
Anyway, yeah, the upside down very much made me think of the distorted ways in which we perceive the world under the overbearing influence of depression. Everything’s in the same place, but nothing really works (except electricity and lights). Things feel colder, darker, like there’s danger lurking around any and every corner. There’s ash in the air just like there’s pollution in ours, which of course compounds the depression. It would also make sense that Eleven would be able to open gates to that world considering her deeply traumatic past.
David and Joyce fighting the demogorgon, not to mention fighting out of prison, I could see that as two heavily concerned parents supporting their loved ones through the darkness (mental illness) that threatened them, considering that’s pretty much literally what happened. Fighting out of prison could perhaps be a representation of the obstacles they had to overcome to understand the threat that faced them all. Again, basically what happened.
As far as the Mind Flayer, I could see him being a representation of fear itself and the way it controls you, especially when you’re of a more vulnerable nature (as Will was, being timid and alone in a terrifying alternate dimension). I could see Eleven banishing that fear at the end of season 2 with reassurance, love, etc., especially considering the friendship that developed between her and Will throughout the events of the show. The show has been very heavy on the power of friendship, love, family, community, which are obviously all things that make it damn near impossible for depression and fear to exist. Possible, certainly, but far more difficult.
Anyway, that’s just my partial interpretation. I’m sure I could expand on it if I gave it some more thought. I’ll probably re-watch the series before season 5, too. Maybe I’ll discuss further interpretations then. Why don’t I go a-fuckin’-head and talk about the mother-cunting music already, huh? What’d’ya fuckin’ say? Okay, so new Combichrist comin’ at us. Nice surprise on the Radar this week. Haven’t really kept up with them over the past decade or so, but I still love what I’ve heard. Have been keepin’ up with Architects, though. Another new jam from them this week called tear gas. All lowercase, of which I don’t yet understand the appeal, but it’s all good. The song, much like the band, really kicks the llama’s ass, just like Winamp.
That Stooges track isn’t entirely new; just this particular live version. I don’t normally care much for live versions, but this one hit pretty well. TV Eye’s a fuckin’ awesome song, and you’re about to hear for yourselves. Another fire track from LLLLNNNN. Gonna have to figure out some way to pronounce that shit at some point. Dude’s pretty talented with his hard dance jams. That Dead Cross band? That’s yet another Mike Patton side project. I swear, the man doesn’t know how to relax, and I love the fuck out of him for it. That one has quite an… interesting video. Look it up if you’re so intrigued. Man, that Billie Eilish song TV was kinda rough. I’m probably super late to the party, but that seemed like an abnormally emotional departure compared to her other singles. I dunno, there’s always the possibility I’m full of manure. Great track though.
Another new Heilung track?! Yes indeed, we are spoiled, selfish little creatures. We are not worthy, and yet, there they are. I jest, hopefully obviously, but good lord they are a phenomenal group. Quite likely my favorite find since maybe Nostalghia. Holy. Fuck. A Heilung/Nostalghia concert would be just… I would be a fucking weeping puddle of goo. Anyway, love this new Slushii & Tokyo Machine track called PEW PEW. The samples are hilarious. Another fantastic jam from GRiZ, who to the best of my knowledge is one of the only gay dubstep DJs out there. Admittedly, my knowledge on that isn’t so great, I dunno. Really been lovin’ his stuff though. Another mind-blowing track by Berried Alive, of course. That’s another man who has zero chill, and fuck, it’s fuckin’ astounding. Go look that motherfucker up on Instagram and you’ll see what I mean.
Wait, what’s this? A new Slipknot song?! Yes, indeed! I, uh, I think I need to listen to this one louder, and driving fast in my car at night or something. There’s something that bugs me about this track, but I haven’t quite identified it, or determined if it’s just in my head. The jury’s still out, but they ordered Chinese, or some shit. Moving on, this cover of Ginuwine’s, “Pony,” by Razakel? *chef’s kiss* I found Razakel when I tried looking up Molly Gruesome on Spotify, and I loved the song I found, so I ended up following her too. I do greatly miss Molly Gruesome, but I hope she’s happier doing whatever it is she’s been doing since she retired. Anyway, a remix here of one of my all-time favorite Dabin tracks, “Hope It Hurts.” I can 100% relate to those lyrics, and I’m sure countless others can as well. Don’t sleep on Dabin, motherfuckers. Dude’s got some fantastic melodic progressions, and some greatly emotional lyrics.
Oooo, oh my, I was so happy to hear this Pola & Bryson track called Tell You What I Did. Lemme tell you, a liquid cover of the classic Tweet song, “Oops (Oh My).” Well, it’s classic to me. You might say I have bad taste, to which I’d say fuck you, let people like shit. Also, I probably like a good amount of shit you like too. I just listen to a broader range of shit. Yes, I literally plug headphones into fecal matter and listen to shit. Of course. Man, it’s been a minute or three since I played anything by Dieselboy or The Glitch Mob, but lo and behold, we’ve got some new shit to look forward to. Not entirely sure how new they are, but they’re new to me and this podcast, so fuck you.
And now, to conclude this fucking Tolstoy of an intro, I bid you all adieu and merry yojne.
01 OMSTRB - Home (feat. Tasha Baxter) (Quannum Logic Remix) (from FULL MOON FLEX (Remixes)) [00:06:51]