2021-12-06 (Send Newds Edition Vol. 11)

Up the fuck is what, fuckermothers?! Whip out your nipples and dip them in warm maple syrup, because it is my ecstatic, orgasmic pleasure to fuckin’ emoclew you to the 11th fuckin’ installment of the Send fuckin’ Newds Edition of Monday Morning Aural fuckin’ Sex! By the fuckin’ way, in case you’re fuckin’ curious why I employ such naughty, explicit verbiage, it’s because of my seething fuckin’ hatred for the FCC, and every other fuckin’ special interest group who furthers agendas of censorship. You know why network TV sucks fuckin’ wet farts? You know why terrestrial radio sucks moose cock through a 50ft. fuckin’ straw? It’s because virtually everything we enjoy as recorded media enthusiasts has been fuckin’ sanitized, homogenized, fuckin’ safe-for-children-ized.

 

Parents don’t feel like talking to their stinky little crotch cabbages about the fucked up world we live in, so we all have to settle for whatever bullshit seems vaguely appealing. You’d think that at least streaming services would provide some uncensored content, but you’d be thinking fuckin’ wrong. Shit’s censored without even telling you so. Shit’s preemptively censored before it’s released so that rich cocksmokers can recoup their investments, thus you have organizations like the fuckin’ ESRB, MPAA, RIAA, PMRC and other such initialisms. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure the latter two are even functionally relevant anymore, and I don’t give enough of a fuck to check right now. Moving on…

 

Guess what, motherfuckers? I remember what it was like being a kid. I saw my first porno at 7 (and it fuckin’ creeped me the fuck out, btw), same year I got into metal, same year I found out how much fun it was to fuckin’ cuss. My point is that kids are even more likely to explore if you forbid them to do so, especially if the only reason you give is, “because I said so.” If that’s somehow a revelation to you, I’m super curious what fuckin’ boulder you’ve been living under all your life. Anyway, what-the-fuck-ever… Ain’t like I’m gonna fuckin’ change any of that stupid fuckin’ shit on my own in a podcast intro; just another excruciatingly asinine fuckin’ aspect of human existence. Maybe I ought to actually talk about the podcast, eh? Whatcha think?

 

If you’re somehow listening to this 11th installment without having listened to any of the fuckin’ previous ones, the Send Newds editions are just collections of new shit I found recently. By recently, more often than not I just mean yesterday, but sometimes it’s earlier than that. Got a few tracks that were sent to me over the past week from some great friends. Still have no idea how well these editions are being received, but they’re fun as fuck to me. They sure as fuck ought to be, considering it’s my aural taste filters through which all these are sifted. The thing is that all these tracks are 4.5/5 star jams in my opinion; anything less ain’t worth the effort of sharing through this podcast. Anyway, even if no one else can hang with these collections as they are, I do often cherry pick tracks from them for my genre-specific editions. You can definitely expect some of these jams to appear on multiple future editions if they’re memorable enough.

 

Any-fuckin’-way, let’s see if I got any notable details for y’all:

 

1. First and fuckin’ foremost, allow me to shoutout my boy Al for the new Sylosis track. Fuckin’ fire-ass metal that will singe your fuckin’ stereocilia. Shoutout to my man Speleo for the Dolphin On Wheels track by Kill The Noise & Dillon Francis. Amusing as fuck, and in this case, fuck is pretty fuckin’ amusing. Shoutout to my girl Renee for the Elton John & Dua Lipa duet remix along with the Cannons track; great shit right there and y’all about to find out for yourselves. Side note, Renee’s a fuckin’ angel among humans. She’s been listening to this podcast pretty much since the beginning, and we even did an edition together back in 2013 before I threw my fuckin’ life in a mountain of elephant shit, and she’s probably listening now. Shout the fuck out to Renee right here and now, I hope you have a magnificent and downright nipple-petrifying day. Last but not least, shout out to my boy Vega for the Sleigh Bells, Only Child Tyrant & Amon Tobin and The Veils tracks. No idea how much he listens anymore, but the dude is darkness incarnate, so no doubt he’s got a busy life.

 

2. Is that the same Crystal Waters who did 100% Pure Love? Indeedily-fuckin’-do, it is! Check out the track Never Enough for some nostalgic 90s dance vibes. Even made room for an Ace of Base remix this week. I’ve got plenty of love for 90s dance, considering I was kinda raised on it along with a slew of other shit.

 

3. Cœur De Pirate did the soundtrack for Child of Light, she was prominently featured on one of my all-time favorite romance movies called Comet (one of the only Justin Long performances I really enjoy, actually), and now she’s here with a collabo with someone named Georgio. Really wish I could justify learning French, ‘cause it seems like a fun language to speak. Maybe if I ever end up actually fleeing the divided states of embarrassment to somewhere up north… Anyway…

 

4. Another lovely jam from Alaska Thunderfuck? Why yes, indeed! So glad they weren’t just another one-hit wonder for me, ‘cause I love that name so much. Something tells me it’s an actual sex act, but anyway…

 

5. Public Enemy? No, not that Public Enemy. Honestly, I have no idea who this Public Enemy is, but I’m almost 100% certain that Chuck D had nothing to do with this particular jam. It’s called Nandini, and it sounds like something Infected Mushroom would come out with. Very cool stuff, so I hope y’all yojne as I did and do.

 

6. Once Human making a welcome return to the podcast this week. Their vocalist has a phenomenal growl, and if you don’t believe me, look up the video for Eye of Chaos. Really hope I get a chance to see them live sometime, that is if we can ever fuckin’ get through this fucking cocksmoking pandemic in this stupid fucking country. Little salty about that shit…

 

7. Nothing else humongously relevant to mention here. All the tracks I didn’t call out in this stupid fuckin’ numbered list format that I do way too often are just as worthy of your love and attention. If you disagree, well, you’re welcome to be a sour cunt, and wrong. You’re welcome to be a wrong, sour cunt; it’s your right. The better news is that it’s also your right to fuckin’ YOOOOJNEEEE!

 

 

01 BLVK JVCK - NO LOVE (from NO LOVE) [00:04:34]

 

02 ZABO - Roll (FOVOS Remix) (from Roll (Remixes)) [00:07:53]

 

03 Bob Vylan - GDP (from GDP) [00:11:07]

 

04 Doctor P, KOOLKID - OD (VIP) (from OD (VIP)) [00:14:28]

 

05 Shining - IDGAF (Zardonic Remix) (from IDGAF (Zardonic Remix)) [00:17:14]

 

06 Elton John, Dua Lipa - Cold Heart (PNAU Remix) (from Cold Heart (PNAU Remix)) [00:20:17]

 

07 Once Human - Cold Arrival (from Cold Arrival) [00:23:29]

 

08 Friction - Set Me Free (from Set Me Free) [00:27:29]

 

09 Ferry Corsten - For Your Mind (from For Your Mind) [00:31:03]

 

10 C4C, Idealism - Come Inside (from Come Inside) [00:34:29]

 

11 Iya Terra - Take Control (feat. Alborosie & Bobby Lee of SOJA) (Ganja White Night Remix) (from Take Control (feat. Alborosie & Bobby Lee of SOJA) (Ganja White Night Remix)) [00:37:05]

 

12 DJ Zinc, Ruti, DRS - Stand Tall (from Stand Tall) [00:40:17]

 

13 Coakira - Amen Suicide (from Amen Suicide EP) [00:43:19]

 

14 Sigma, LOWES, U137 - Faded (from Faded) [00:47:02]

 

15 Kill The Noise, Dillon Francis - Dolphin On Wheels (from Dolphin On Wheels) [00:50:20]

 

16 Hi-Rez, KR$NA, Tech N9ne, A-F-R-O, Joell Ortiz, Twista, Bizzy Bone - Overdrive (from Overdrive) [00:53:09]

 

17 ZITH, Void Stare - Nightmare Drive (from Nightmare Drive) [01:00:13]

 

18 S.P.Y - Dream Fragments (from Nebula) [01:04:06]

 

19 Scythe Gang 666 - 808s & Screaming (from 808s & Screaming) [01:08:53]

 

20 Just A Gent - Out of Order (from Out of Order) [01:11:08]

 

21 Nekrogoblikon - Right Now (from Right Now) [01:13:59]

 

22 Alaska Thunderfuck - XOXOY2K (from XOXOY2K / ask me) [01:17:31]

 

23 Richie Blacker, Crystal Waters - Never Enough (from Never Enough) [01:20:24]

 

24 InTake - Amends (feat. Tasha Baxter) (from FULL MOON FLEX) [01:24:18]

 

25 Chime, MDK - Arcade Dwellers (from Arcade Dwellers) [01:28:58]

 

26 Metrik - Utopia (from Utopia) [01:33:16]

 

27 Amaranthe - PvP (from PvP) [01:37:25]

 

28 Jarren Benton, Elz Jenkins - The Mario Brothers (from The Mario Brothers) [01:40:20]

 

29 Black Tiger Sex Machine, Hairitage - Cheatcode (feat. Hyro The Hero) (from Cheatcode) [01:42:23]

 

30 Tisoki, Oliverse - New Life (feat. Courtney Drummey) (from New Life) [01:45:27]

 

31 Depth Strida, Lvst - 1996 (from 1996) [01:48:27]

 

32 Lex the Hex Master, Jamie Madrox - Closed Minds (from Episode 3: Palace of Illusions) [01:50:09]

 

33 Sylosis - Immovable Stone (from Immovable Stone) [01:52:49]

 

34 FuntCase, Chassi - Fear (from Fear) [01:56:19]

 

35 Converge, Chelsea Wolfe - Lord of Liars (from Bloodmoon: I) [01:59:43]

 

36 The Veils - Vicious Traditions (from The Runaway Found) [02:03:02]

 

37 V O E - Chemical (from Chemical EP) [02:07:39]

 

38 Public Enemy, Raveen Anand - Nandini (from Nandini) [02:12:44]

 

39 Teminite - Sail Away (from Sail Away) [02:15:21]

 

40 LukHash, Shirobon - Exile (from Exile) [02:19:30]

 

41 Only Child Tyrant, Amon Tobin - Monkey Box (from Time To Run) [02:22:54]

 

42 Ace of Base - Dancer in a Daydream (Trace Adam Remix) (from Dancer in a Daydream (Trace Adam Remix)) [02:25:50]

 

43 Merkules, Snak The Ripper - Fuck Rap (from Fuck Rap) [02:29:27]

 

44 Cannons - Bad Dream (from Bad Dream) [02:32:04]

 

45 S3RL - Otaku Boy (from Otaku Boy) [02:35:18]

 

46 GRiZ, Subtronics - Griztronics II (Another Level) (from Griztronics II (Another Level)) [02:38:15]

 

47 Pixel Terror, Spag Heddy - Carbonara (from Carbonara) [02:40:55]

 

48 Sleigh Bells - Hummingbird Bomb (from Texis) [02:43:43]

 

49 Georgio, Cœur De Pirate - Concept flou (from Concept flou) [02:46:55]

 

50 The Amity Affliction - Give up the Ghost (from Give Up The Ghost) [02:50:22]

 

51 Kompany, Whales - Stand By Me (feat. Elle Vee) (from Stand By Me) [02:54:19]

 

52 HALIENE, Maratone - Make It To Tomorrow (Atsuni & Manuel Le Saux Remix) (from Make It To Tomorrow (Atsuni & Manuel Le Saux Remix)) [02:58:24]