2021-09-20 (All-Star Series: The Lander Sisters Edition)

Wwwwhhhhat the actual, factual, metaphysical quantum fuck is up, perverts? Emo-muthafuckin’-clew to another installment of the All-Star Series: the Lander Sisters Edition! Clearly, we’ll be hearing lots of Brad Paisley, Michael Bublé, Yanni and other such marshmallow soft jams, except fuck no and not at all. The Lander Sisters, for those not in the know, are the women who formed Kittie! They’re actually the only two entirely consistent members of the band over the years. They had lineup changes with almost every new album. Not sure why, but I’ve been a huge fan of theirs pretty much from the beginning. Never got my hands on a copy of their demo tape called Sex Iz Hell, but my introduction to them was plenty powerful as it was and continues to be. It was actually the music video for Brackish, and I saw it on MTV. Crazy, right? MTV actually used to play music videos. Guess they figured out they could make fucktons more money doing other things with their broadcasting. Ç’est la fuckin’ capitalism and all, ya know?


Anyway, I was hooked within mere seconds of Brackish beginning. It’s an absolute classic of the nü-metal genre. It may be that nü-metal goes mostly forgotten in the future, or just misunderstood. Perhaps you had to be there, but as some of you may know, Kittie evolved well beyond their nü-metal roots as early as their sophomore album, Oracle. From then on, they fused more traditional metal with gorgeous melodies that were captivating to me from album to album. As far as I’m concerned, they don’t have any bad tracks. The worst any of them ever are is a little less memorable than the others.


Here on this All-Star Series edition, I’ve compiled all the most memorable tracks (in my opinion), along with some lesser-known features and side-projects. In the cases of Karkaos and The White Swan, those are the main projects for Morgan and Mercedes these days, and they’re both fuckin’ intense. I wish so much that I’d been able to go see Morgan perform with Karkaos, but alas, I have yet to obtain a fuckin’ passport. Didn’t used to need a passport to go to Canadia, but wtf/e. I’d love to see White Swan perform too, but COVID is still fuckin’ everything because of idiots doing idiotic shit.


Anyway, let me say a few things before we commence this epic, osmiumic yojnement:


1. Kittie’s cover of David Bowie’s, “Space Oddity,” makes a return for this podcast, because of coooouuuurse! How could it not? I mean, I think it’s pretty fuckin’ cool. I think they did an excellent job with it, and I think David Bowie would be proud.


2. I’m pretty sure the (hed)p.e. song called Feel Good was one of both Morgan Lander’s and Serj Tankian’s first features ever. That album released in 2001, I’m pretty sure, and both System and Kittie were just starting to make waves around that time. Obviously, System was catapulted to stadium-level fame due to their album Toxicity, but Kittie always remained just as close to my heart.


3. The two tracks, Buried Dreams and Snap Your Fingers/Snap Your Neck, they don’t have any official band name, but just the list of artists who did them. I’m not sure if Buried Dreams is a cover, but Snap Your Fingers… is by a group called Prong. Check them out if ya can spare a fuck or a shit. Also, Jeff Phillips stood in for Fallon when Kittie toured for Oracle, and he later played guitar for Thine Eyes Bleed, one of the bands in this edition who featured Morgan on one of their albums.


4. The Adam Wendler song called Follow Me Down is pretty much the greatest departure from the rest of this edition. I’m honestly surprised I even found it, ‘cause to the best of my knowledge, it’s a feature that was barely publicized at all. It’s supposed to be like, country folk, or indie pop or something. It’s not my favorite track by far, but I included it to show how versatile a vocalist/musician Morgan is and can be.


5. So, the legendary band called Green Jelly put out an album earlier this year that had a bunch of features on it, including Morgan Lander. Unfortunately, I had to dig deep to figure out exactly which track she was featured on because none of the album tracklistings I could find show the names of the features. I ended up figuring it out from reading a random comment on a review for the album on YouTube. It’s called Back Alley Dentist, and while it’s far from the most prominent showcase of Morgan’s vocal abilities, it’s still a solid track.


6. I know basically fuck all about Blackguard, Kataklysm, Team Cybergeist, We Are PIGS, Trilateral, Thine Eyes Bleed and Rocky Gray, but they’re all artists with whom Morgan has been featured, and they’re all awesome. Check ‘em out if any of ‘em hit you hard enough, ‘cause no doubt they could use all the support they can get. I’ve played other Kataklysm and We Are PIGS tracks on other editions, but I still know very little about any of those artists.


7. In case you’re curious, Mercedes does the vocals for The White Swan. Not just the vocals, but guitar, keyboards and... drumroll… drums. Of coooourse! That band is fantastic much like all the other bands on this edition, and they’re unique in that they’re kind of stoner metal, or sludge rock (according to their website). Dreamy-ass vocals indeed. I’d even say their stuff is downright meditative. Mayhaps you’ll agree once that stuff comes up.


8. So, the Kittie album called Until The End has a fifth track called Pussy Sugar. On Spotify, however, it’s just called Sugar. Why? Goodness gracious, is PUSSY somehow a bad word? Why on any planet between Earth and Pluto would anyone censor the word PUSSY?! PUSSY is a fantastic word, not to mention a fantastic genitalia. Also, partially related, a clean version of a Common song called The 6th Sense snuck onto last week’s Punk-Hop podcast. So to make up for all the so-called profanity that was censored in that song, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, bitch, fuck-shit-ass-bitch-cunt-shooba-dee-doo-wop.


9. Two of my all-time favorite Kittie tracks are Safe and Time Never Heals. Keep your ears peeled for those, ‘cause they’re worth your fuckin’ attention. Another of my all-time favorites is a semi-rare cover of a song by a 90s hip-hop artist named Da Brat. I’m fairly certain that they’re somewhat ashamed at ever having covered this song called Da Shit Ya Can’t Fuc Wit, but I think it’s fun and amusing. We’re all our own worst critics, of course.


10. Eh, nothing else particularly notable to mention. I hope y’all enjoy this celebratory tribute to these awesome metal women. Not to say they’re robots, at least not to the best of my knowledge. Maybe they are… Oh n00000ez! Ah well, we’re long overdue for the robot revolution. Bring it on, muthafuckas! Bring that on, and also bring on the yoooojneeeeee!



01 Kittie - Spit (from Spit) [00:04:39]


02 (hed)p.e. - Feel Good (feat. Morgan Lander & Serj Tankian) (from Broke) [00:06:56]


03 Kittie - Oracle (from Oracle) [00:11:06]


04 Kittie - Da Shit Ya Can’t Fuc Wit (Da Brat cover) (from Brackish (Limited Edition)) [00:13:07]


05 Kittie - Funeral For Yesterday (from Funeral For Yesterday) [00:15:18]


06 We Are PIGS - Moot (feat. Morgan Lander) (from Moot) [00:18:36]


07 Kittie - Looks So Pretty (from Until The End) [00:22:39]


08 The White Swan - Touch Taste Destroy (from Touch Taste Destroy) [00:28:00]


09 Kittie - I’ve Failed You (from I’ve Failed You) [00:33:12]


10 Kittie - Charlotte (Tom Lord-Alge Remix) (from Charlotte EP) [00:35:21]


11 Kittie - Mouthful Of Poison (from Oracle) [00:39:10]


12 Karkaos - Kolossòs (feat. Morgan Lander) (from Children of the Void) [00:43:44]


13 Kittie - Career Suicide (from Until The End) [00:47:57]


14 Kittie - We Are The Lamb (from I’ve Failed You) [00:51:48]


15 Kittie - Suck (from Spit) [00:54:37]


16 Team Cybergeist - The End Of All We Know (feat. Morgan Lander) (from How to Destroy Something Beautiful) [00:58:04]


17 Kittie - Everything That Could Have Been (from Funeral For Yesterday) [01:01:45]


18 Kittie - Cut Throat (from In The Black) [01:06:21]


19 Kittie - Until The End (from Until The End) [01:09:14]


20 The White Swan - Illuminate (from Anubis) [01:13:22]


21 Kittie - Do You Think I’m A Whore? (from Spit) [01:17:57]


22 Kittie - Paperdoll (Remix) (from Paperdoll EP) [01:20:55]


23 Kittie - What Have I Done? (from I’ve Failed You) [01:24:01]


24 Jeff Phillips, Morgan Lander, Michael Sage - Snap Your Fingers/Snap Your Neck (from Snap Your Fingers/Snap Your Neck) [01:29:23]


25 Kittie - Die My Darling (from In The Black) [01:33:35]


26 Kittie - Brackish (from Spit) [01:36:19]


27 Kittie - PUSSY Sugar (from Until The End) [01:39:18]


28 Kataklysm - It Turns To Rust (feat. Morgan Lander) (from In the Arms of Devastation) [01:43:29]


29 Kittie - Run Like Hell (Pink Floyd cover) (from Oracle) [01:47:27]


30 Kittie - Will To Live (from Funeral For Yesterday) [01:51:35]


31 Blackguard - By My Hand (feat. Morgan Lander) (from Storm) [01:54:41]


32 Kittie - Empires (Part 1) (from I’ve Failed You) [01:59:23]


33 Kittie - Empires (Part 2) (from I’ve Failed You) [02:01:37]


34 Kittie - Safe (KMFDM Inc. Remix) (from Safe EP) [02:05:15]


35 The White Swan - Nocturnal Transmission (from Nocturnal Transmission) [02:09:12]


36 Kittie - Jonny (from Spit) [02:14:24]


37 Kittie - Pain (from Oracle) [02:16:45]


38 Kittie - Never Again (from Funeral For Yesterday) [02:20:29]


39 Green Jelly - Back Alley Dentist (feat. Morgan Lander) (from Garbage Band Kids) [02:24:10]


40 Kittie - Sweet Destruction [Interlude] (from Funeral For Yesterday) [02:26:17]


41 Kittie - Raven (from Spit) [02:28:37]


42 Kittie - Into The Darkness (from Until The End) [02:31:58]


43 Thine Eyes Bleed - Darkwhite (feat. Morgan Lander) (from Thine Eyes Bleed) [02:35:36]


44 Kittie - What I Always Wanted (from Oracle) [02:39:06]


45 Kittie - Never Come Home (from I’ve Failed You) [02:42:46]


46 Kittie - Get Off (You Can Eat A Dick) (from Spit) [02:45:57]


47 Rocky Gray, Lindsay Schoolcraft, Morgan Lander - Fear to Rage (from 10/31) [02:48:41]


48 Kittie - Loveless (from Until The End) [02:52:48]


49 Kittie - Safe (from Oracle) [02:54:54]


50 Kittie - Sleepwalking (from In The Black) [02:59:05]


51 Jeff Phillips, Morgan Lander, Michael Sage, Marc Rizzo - Buried Dreams (from Buried Dreams) [03:02:15]


52 Kittie - Choke (from Spit) [03:06:18]


53 Kittie - Daughters Down (from Until The End) [03:10:21]


54 Kittie - No Name (from Oracle) [03:13:24]


55 The White Swan - Jet (from Anubis) [03:15:37]


56 Kittie - Paperdoll (from Spit) [03:19:59]


57 Kittie - Pink Lemonade (from Oracle) [03:23:13]


58 Adam Wendler - Follow Me Down (feat. Morgan Lander) (from Never Go Unknown) [03:33:46]


59 Kittie - This Too Shall Pass (from Funeral For Yesterday) [03:37:28]


60 Kittie - Immortal (from Spit) [03:40:32]


61 Trilateral - Whalefall (feat. Morgan Lander) (from Elliptic Orbits) [03:43:21]


62 Kittie - Last Goodbye (from Funeral For Yesterday) [03:49:05]


63 Kittie - The Truth (feat. Justin Wolfe) (from In The Black) [03:51:38]


64 The White Swan - The White (from The White) [03:58:00]


65 Kittie - Time Never Heals (from I’ve Failed You) [04:05:11]


66 Kittie - Space Oddity (David Bowie cover) (from A Salute to the Thin White Duke - the Songs of David Bowie) [04:09:36]

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