2021-02-15 (Best of the Fuckfests Edition)

Mmmmm… good fuckin’ morning, perverts and perveletties. I told ya I had a treat for ya this week, but it’s buried deep in my pants. I mean, my pockets are fuckin’ cavernous. Like, bring a flashlight and climbing gear. Or I could just pull it out for ya right now… Wel”cum” to the Best of the Fuckfests Edition of Monday Morning Aural fuckin’ Sex! You know what we’ll be hearing this week? Any of you more devoted perverts might remember the Valentine’s Day and Saturnalia Fuckfest editions I did back in 2012 and ’13. Well, this is the best of those. Lots of really, really fuckin’ good memories tied to a lot of this music, and yes, I do mean that. 

To anyone new to this whole shebang, this is some of my favorite fuckin’ music; music to fuck to, music to make fuckin’ love to, music to love fuckin’ yourself to, you get the fuckin’ gist. I’ve also inserted a number of miscellaneous samples before & after certain tracks. Some of them are experiences I’ve had, some are some dumb dickhead reciting some stupid poetry bullshit, and some are just movie or TV show clips, but I tried to make them as relevant and/or amusing as possible. Also, I would say that if you’ve ever wondered what it’d be like to fuck me, a good portion of the answer’s somewhere in an elaborate aural cross-stitch of all this most fucktacular of all fucktacularity (also known as “pretty awesome fuckin’ music”). And hey, if you’ve never wondered what it’d be like to fuck me, and/or would never want to, feel free as fuck to go fuck yourself! Everybody wins!

Should I tell you a little more about the tracks? Let’s seeeee… Well, okay, since you’re being such an obedient audience sitting there listening to me yammer the fuck on like this. Some of these tracks are meant to give ya a chuckle or two, some are there to demonstrate my affinity for certain types of sex, and some are songs that have indeed been the sonic backdrop for a number of fuckin’s of mine. Jack’s Smirking Revenge from the Fight Club soundtrack is a great example. Nearly anything by Psyclon Nine and/or  Deftones are lovely for all that as well.

Any-fuckin’-way, whatd’ya say we get down to bidness and fuckin’ yojne already, hmm?!

01 Rammstein - Pussy (Flagpole Edit) (from Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da) [00:01:45]

02 Deacon Boombastardizer - My Pussy Is Burning (Little Minx Edit) (from Speedcore.ca) [00:05:41]

03 Borgore - Love (the Gagging Version) (from Gorestep Vol. 1.1) [00:08:36]

04 Lords of Acid - Scrood Bi U (from Farstucker) [00:12:56]

05 Otto Von Schirach - Salpica (from Salpica / Skeleton Search (Modeselektor Edit)) [00:17:28]

06 Combichrist - This Shit Will Fuck You Up (from Everybody Hates You (Disc 1)) [00:20:55]

07 One Inch Punch - Pretty Piece Of Flesh (Sexual Intercourse Edit) (from Romeo + Juliet OST) [00:25:43]

08 Akinyele - Put It In Your Mouth (feat. Kia Jeffries) (from Aktapuss) [00:30:23]

09 Stubborn Ahole - FREAKZ VIP3 (feat. Nae Joy Gizzy) (from soundcloud.com/naejoy) [00:33:43]

10 Spice Girls - 2 Become 1 (from Spice) [00:36:31]

11 Psyclon Nine - Flesh Harvest (from Crwn Thy Frnicatr) [00:40:19]

12 Insane Clown Posse - Cotton Candy (from Tunnel Of Love) [00:44:35]

13 Revolting Cocks - Da Ya Think I’m Sexy? (from Linger Ficken’ Good …And Other Barnyard Oddities) [00:49:07]

14 Deftones - Bored (Stupid Poetry Bullshit Intro) (from Adrenaline) [00:54:42]

15 Lords of Acid - Pain & Pleasure Concerto (from Farstucker) [00:59:00]

16 kidneythieves - S+M (A Love Song) (from Trickster) [01:00:44]

17 Combichrist - Get Your Body Beat (from Get Your Body Beat) [01:04:12]

18 Rammstein - Bück Dich (from Sehnsucht) [01:08:46]

19 Tool - Prison Sex (from Undertow) [01:12:07]

20 Nine Inch Nails - Happiness In Slavery (Warm Abusive Gun Edit) (from Broken) [01:17:00]

21 Lords of Acid - Slave To Love (from Farstucker) [01:22:23]

22 Puscifer - Vagina Mine (from V Is for Vagina) [01:25:45]

23 Atari Teenage Riot - Sex (from Delete Yourself!) [01:31:08]

24 Pantera - Good Friends And A Bottle Of Pills (Psycho Edit) (from Far Beyond Driven) [01:34:39]

25 Dr. Dre - Fuck You (feat. Tray-Dee & Snoop Dogg) (from 2001) [01:37:13]

26 Supreme Beings of Leisure - Swallow (from 11i) [01:40:38]

27 Otto Von Schirach - Skeleton Search (from Salpica / Skeleton Search (Modeselektor Edit)) [01:45:17]

28 Deftones - Entombed (from Koi No Yokan) [01:49:42]

29 Puscifer - Rev 22:20 (from Underworld OST) [01:54:44]

30 ††† - Bermuda Locke† (from EP †) [01:59:15]

31 Dog Fashion Disco - Rapist Eyes (from Committed to a Bright Future) [02:03:14]

32 Cradle of Filth - Venus In Fear (Petrified Edit) (from Cruelty and the Beast) [02:08;11]

33 A Perfect Circle - Thinking Of You (Wistful Hatefuck Edit) (from Mer de Noms) [02:10:33]

34 Cody Chesnutt - With Me In Mind (with Sonja Marie) (from The Headphone Masterpiece I) [02:15:08]

35 Genitorturers - Touch Myself (Remix) (from Machine Love) [02:19:01]

36 Lords of Acid - The Most Wonderful Girl (Go Fuck Yourself Edit) (from Lust) [02:22:18]

37 Tweet - Oops (Oh My) (Cum Edit) (from Southern Hummingbird) [02:27:10]

38 Dead Prez - Mind Sex (from Let’s Get Free) [02:31:00]

39 Nine Inch Nails - Underneath The Skin (from March Of The Pigs) [02:35:52]

40 Busta Rhymes - What’s It Gonna Be (feat. Janet Jackson) (from Extinction Level Event - The Final World Front) [02:42:45]

41 Deftones - Digital Bath (from White Pony [Reissue]) [02:48:28]

42 Ashanti - Only U (from Concrete Rose) [02:52:29]

43 Failure - The Nurse Who Loved Me (from Fantastic Planet) [02:55:58]

44 Snake River Conspiracy - Lovesong (The Cure cover) (Love You Most When You Cum For Me Edit) (from Sonic Jihad) [03:00:18]

45 White Zombie - Blood, Milk And Sky (Full Edit) (from Astro-Creep: 2000) [03:04:27]

46 Fluke - Another Kind Of Blues (Dream Edit) (from Puppy) [03:12:15]

47 Deftones - Passenger (from White Pony) [03:16:46]

48 LL Cool J - Doin’ It (from Mr. Smith) [03:22:50]

49 Jay Gordon - Slept So Long (from Queen of the Damned OST) [03:27:38]

50 The Dust Brothers - Jack’s Smirking Revenge (Clever Edit) (from Fight Club OST) [03:32:57]

51 Type O Negative - My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend (from October Rust) [03:37:07]

52 DMX - Don’t Gotta Go Home (feat. Monica) (from Grand Champ) [03:40:49]

53 Deftones - Sextape (from Diamond Eyes) [03:45:15]

54 Orgy - Pantomime (from Candyass) [03:49:28]

55 Insane Clown Posse - Lil’ Somthin’ Somthin’ (from Riddle Box) [03:53:50]

56 Twiztid - Wet Dreams (Fantastic Violation Edit) (from Independents Day) [03:58:45]

57 Die Antwoord - $copie (from $o$ [South African Release]) [04:02:40]

58 Trina - B R Right (feat. Ludacris) (from Diamond Princess) [04:05:47]

59 Otto Von Schirach - Pussy Pump (from Oozing Bass Spasms) [04:10:07]

60 Dark Lotus - Bitch I’m Sexy (from Tales From The Lotus Pod) [04:13:41]

61 Twiztid - She Ain’t Afraid (from Mostasteless) [04:17:45]

62 Jon Lajoie - Show Me Your Genitals 2: E=MC Vagina (from You Want Some Of This?) [04:23:46]

63 Yung Humma - Lemme Smang It (feat. Flynt Flossy) (from Turquoise Jeep Records: Keep The Jeep Ridin’) [04:26:49]

64 GWAR - I’m Fucking An Animal (Twisted Fuck Edit) (from We Kill Everything) [04:30:18]