Good fucking evening, perverts! Your humble host is tired… so fucking tired, but here I am to deliver another enthralling installment of albums from the two 1,001 Albums lists and miscellaneous fucktacularity. For those of you especially observant perverts, let me offer an explanation why I’ve included another one of my albums at the beginning of this podcast instead of one of the official 1,001 albums at the end (as would be true to the alternating sequence I’ve established thus far): the official album we’ve arrived at is… a fucking Christmas album.
First off, let me heartily say: FUCK Xmas music. Forever. Any-fucking-body who’s ever had the misfortune of working a retail job around the holidays would most likely agree with me on that sentiment. The only Xmas music that will ever appear on my personal 1,001 list is Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics, and only because it’s more of an anti-Xmas album than anything else.
Second, I don’t fucking care who sings or plays whatever Xmas music it is. I’m done with it all. So, instead of making this Xmas album its own entry on my podcast site, I decided to just include it at the end of this podcast. Specifically because I don’t give a shit about it, and I rather firmly doubt any of you do either.
Third, to make it somewhat bearable in the event you do actually decide to listen to it, I took the entire album and sped it up by 300 fucking percent, along with pitching it up by 6 semitones. So, it sounds like Xmas music done by the Chipmunks if they were fucking tweakers.
ANY-FUCKIN’-WAY, the album from MY list that kicks this whole thing off is by a… band… or group… or a couple of college students who got high and recorded an album in less than the time of a sitcom episode. The name of the group/band/wtfever is, get this, My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit. The album is called Satan Gets An Abortion. Let me just say, dearest perverts, I’ve had many wishes in life. I wish so hard that I could’ve been there for the creation of this album. I think it’s fucking hilarious, but then again, I’m a psychotic fucking retard and everything I say is bullshit. WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD TRUST ME, TRUST MY TASTE AND TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY, DEFINITELY FUCKING LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM.
Or not. Fuck you. RANT RANT RANT RANT RANTY MCRANTRANT!!!
There… that proved something. I love yelling about stupid shit to stupid people who are mostly deaf to anything that doesn’t have anything to do with them. Much like yelling at corpses. Yay!!! Yelling at corpses!!!
Alright… I’m done now. Yojne.
01 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - The Conception of the Son of Lucifer (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:02:35]
02 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - The Unholy Mother Lectures The Devil About Safe Sex (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:02:50]
03 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - Satan Wishes His Mother Would Shut The Fuck Up (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:03:29]
04 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - Satan Considers The Unpopular Birthing Clinic (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:04:13]
05 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - Demon Protestors Heckle Satan As He Stands In Front Of The Clinic (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:04:43]
06 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - The Unholy Mother Convinces Him Of The Immorality Of Abortion (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:05:32]
07 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - Undead Feminists Guide Him (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:05:59]
08 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - Jesus Laughs From Afar (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:06:16]
09 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - A Collective Reflection On The Fall Of The Angels (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:07:10]
10 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - Satan Quickly Masturbates Before The Procedure (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:07:32]
11 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - The Abortion (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:08:06]
12 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - Satan Strings His Guitar With The Intestines Of The Unborn Fetus (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:08:42]
13 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - The Fetus Gently Coos From Heaven (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:09:43]
14 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - Satan Describes The Uses He Will Have Of The Fetus’ Flesh (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:11:06]
15 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - A Colony Of Chipmunks Reinterprets The Scenario (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:12:41]
16 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - A Colony Of Baby Chipmunks Reinterprets The Scenario (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:17:36]
17 My Penis Is Made Of Dogshit - Satan’s Commentary (from Satan Gets An Abortion) [00:21:04]
18 Moral Decline - Fuck Rednecks (from… Youtube… maybe some album somewhere… I don’t fuckin’ know) [00:26:57]
19 Insane Clown Posse - Your Rebel Flag (from Carnival Of Carnage) [00:29:14]
20 Monsters With Tiny Mustaches - Enter Eva (from Enter Eva) [00:33:37]
21 The Pierces - Boring (from Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge) [00:38:19]
22 Dead Kennedys - Terminal Preppie (from Plastic Surgery Disasters/In God We Trust Inc.) [00:41:44]
23 Defrag - Till It Disappeared (from Lament Element) [00:43:13]
24 Darkest Hour - Demon(s) (from Deliver Us) [00:46:51]
25 From Autumn To Ashes - No Trivia (from The Fiction We Live) [00:50:38]
26 Peeping Tom - Mojo (feat. Rahzel & Dan The Automator) (from Peeping Tom) [00:54:45]
27 Mr. Bungle - Retrovertigo (from California) [00:58:23]
28 The Cranberries - Dying In The Sun (from Bury The Hatchet) [01:03:18]
29 David Bowie - Bring Me The Disco King (feat. Maynard James Keenan) (from Underworld OST) [01:06:45]
30 Rammstein - Klavier (from Sehnsucht) [01:12:50]
31 Einstürzende Neubauten - Seele Brennt (from Halber Mensch) [01:17:08]
32 Metallica - To Live Is To Die (from …And Justice For All) [01:21:03]
33 Tool - Lateralus (from Lateralus) [01:30:51]
34 Tool - Disposition (from Lateralus) [01:40:12]
35 The Bleeding Alarm - Beauty In Destruction (from Beauty In Destruction) [01:44:56]
36 Rammstein - Nebel (from Mutter) [01:49:13]
37 Darkest Hour - Tranquil (from Undoing Ruin) [01:54:04]
38 Trust Company - Hover (from Underworld OST) [02:00:23]
39 The Haunted - Forensick (from The Haunted) [02:03:30]
40 Tool - Ticks & Leeches (from Lateralus) [02:07:42]
41 Marilyn Manson - Minute Of Decay (from Antichrist Superstar) [02:15:47]
42 David Bowie - Space Oddity (from Space Oddity) [02:20:16]
43 Elton John - Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going to Be a Long, Long Time) (from Rocket Man: The Definitive Hits) [02:25:26]
44 Phil Spector - A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector (300% speed, 6 semitones pitched up) [02:30:03]